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Telekinesis is real, you are telekinetic, and I can prove both in two paragraphs

Jonmaas
Jonmaas
Jul 4, 2020 · 5 min read

You’re so telekinetic in fact, that you can alter the entire universe with a single thought

Your telekinesis won’t be this dramatic, but it will go farther than Luke’s maneuvers ever could

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.” ― Kurt Vonnegut

What is telekinesis?

Telekinesis, also known psychokinesis, it is the alleged ability to move objects with your mind.

A great example is Luke moving C-3P0 with the Force in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

Now this levitation occurred through the fictional Force, set upon the fictional moon of Endor, through a fictional Jedi acting on a fictional robot.

Real life proof of telekinesis is not required to be this dramatic

For decades, the normative proof of telekinesis was not moving a robot above a set of Ewoks, but just bending a metal spoon with one’s mind.

Even if you bent the spoon a little bit, that was proof.

The magician Uri Geller was known for doing this, but of course his act was eventually revealed to be a trick.

He’s a magician―that’s what he does.

Could anyone ever bend spoons with their mind though?

Sean Carroll all but proved that they could not, but let’s not think about telekinesis in such terms.

To prove telekinesis, let’s think smaller — but with a bigger reach

Let’s not visibly bend spoons―that’s a bit too difficult.

But let’s go to the farthest reaches of the universe, and perhaps do this instantaneously.

We can do this.

You can do this.

It will take two paragraphs, paraphrased from the incredible book God’s Debris.

After 1 paragraph you’ll become telekinetic.

After the 2nd paragraph, you’ll understand your newfound power, and how far it goes.

Ready? Buckle your seatbelt, and telekinetically buckle everyone else’s while you’re at it.

Paragraph 1 — Close your eyes and think of a pink giraffe for five seconds

That’s it basically. It’s a sentence, but let’s just make it a paragraph.

Paragraph 1

Close your eyes and think of a pink giraffe for five seconds.

You don’t even need to think of it for five seconds, let alone think of a giraffe.

Just think of something, albeit briefly.

Ideally it is something strong, but think of it.

All right, have you thought of the pink giraffe for five seconds, or at least something equivalent, for some time?

If so, you’ve just performed an act of telekinesis.

The next paragraph will explain just how you did this, and how impossibly large your range of telekinesis was.

Paragraph 2 — How you just changed the entire universe

For clarity, I am going to separate Paragraph 2 out sentence by sentence.

Paragraph 2

You just thought of a pink giraffe, or an equivalent image, for a few seconds.

What is a thought?

A thought is a series of electrical impulses in your mind, accompanied by the movement of neurotransmitters.

What are neurotransmitters?

They are molecules, and like all matter they have gravity.

Gravity is a force that has an effect on all matter.

Every bit of matter is gravitationally affected by every other bit of matter, and every bit of matter has a gravitational effect on every other bit of matter.

Thus, the movement of neurotransmitters in your mind when you thought of a pink giraffe made a small, small, small but positive disruption in your gravitational field.

That small, small, small disruption led to a small, small, small, small, small, small change in the position of every atom in the universe.

Wait — a single thought changed the position of every atom in the universe?

Yes, that’s what happened.

There is some debate about the speed of gravity. Some think it is instantaneous, some think it travels at the speed of light.

But gravity is real, and each piece of matter effects every other piece of matter.

So that small movement due to your thoughts made a small, small, small, change in your gravitational field, and that led to a small, small, small, small, small, small change in the position of every other atom in the universe.

But surely the small gravitational effect of thinking of a giraffe would be negated by something bigger, like Jupiter?

Yes, it would.

The gravitational ripple caused by your thoughts would also surely be negated by a cat walking by, or the non-moving chair beneath your feet.

And then it would be further negated by the earth below your chair, and Jupiter, and the sun, and the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy.

But the effort to make that negation still brings an effect, and the universe is different in a small, small, small, small, small, small―but nonzero, way.

Think of two identical universes, one in which you thought of the pink giraffe, and one in which you thought of something else.

Infographic showing how thoughts can alter the universe
Infographic showing how thoughts can alter the universe
Infographic showing how thoughts can alter the universe

Just a brief difference in 5 seconds of your thoughts will bring a difference to the two universes.

The difference might be incomprehensibly small, but it is not zero and―

Imagine that small difference with a billion years to split apart. Those two universes might be very different after that.

Let’s not dwell on that though.

Let’s just think about what this means.

What does this all mean?

This just means that telekinesis through gravity is real, and you hold its power in your mind.

You won’t be able to lift a robot like Luke Skywalker.

You won’t even be able to bend a spoon like Uri Geller once claimed to do.

But your reach is much farther than both Luke Skywalker and Uri Geller.

Every thought you make causes a gravitational ripple that spreads across the entire universe.

It will be a small, small, small ripple, but it will still be one.

So be careful with your telekinetic thoughts―the whole universe may be listening.

For further reading on this, check out God’s Debris by Scott Adams.

Jonathan Maas has a few books on Amazon, and you can find him at Goodreads.com/JMaas.

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